Life.

Well I need to get this outta me... Right now life sucks. My job is going well, but the only time I am ever happy is when I am out on my bike riding. I miss Rusty to no end as we all do, I miss going on rides with him for no reason at all, just to go ride. I do want to say if I get snippy don't take it personally, its not you, I m just not a happy camper... hey speaking of which that sounds fun, ima go this weekend, if you wanna go you know how to get ahold of me. Maybe im just grieving still...im tryin to put up a good front, but I don't think its what I want...tho maybe its just because I miss all the things he did and took it all for granted. Rusty made life easier, when it was hectic for anyone he had the knowledge we were looking for, he had the smile and that laugh (you all know what im talking about) that made any bad situation funny. Rusty was a very intimidating person but had the heart of a child, you could walk up to him afraid of him and he would say/do something and u would know he was as harmless as a mouse. I miss playin rockband with him, i miss having our arguments over his motorcycle, i miss him complaining how bad his nuts hurt after a long ride and just pointing to my seat and saying how cushy and comfy mine are! i miss the goofy faces he makes out of nowhere or the walk up behind me and smack in the head or arm and look around and there he goes, i miss just walking up to him and running into him for shits and giggles then laughing about it after we have a "tussle". i miss going over to his apartment and he wouldnt care and sit with his stomach hanging out :-) or without a shirt at all, hell didnt bother me any...i just overall miss him and everything we did together, life is rough right now, i believe he must be with me when i ride, for its the only time i am at peace with myself, any other time im in a struggle with happiness, and just want to isolate myself, the littlest thing annoys me and I dont like that feeling, i just want to be a happy camper and be worry free again, i want to live life and enjoy things including the memory of my fine friend of whom i will greatly miss but look forward to seeing again someway down the road we call life. Rusty I miss u R.I.P. and see you later!